Kyonoke Blues

Well, unless you’ve been off your head on a bender of epic proportions, and let’s be frank; we are Gallente and this is a distinct possibility, then you will have heard of the Kyonote Plague that has been, well, plaguing the mortals in New Eden.

I attended the Kyonoke inquest at the behest of my corporation in the system of Postouvin at the H4-RP4 Keepstar, all very serious as you would expect especially since so many million mortals were at risk of dying of the malady. Whenever this many capsuleers get together along with the Society of Conscious Thought, CONCORD and even CCP corporation then business gets discussed and if there is anything I love as much as my parties then it’s my ISKies.

The Gallente pleasure hub that had been set up at the inquest Keepstar, known as H4-RP4, was of course the best thing about the entire inquest, we had the best parties, the best drinks and drugs and a large contingent of Pandemic Legion set up right along side the pleasure hub. Those PL boys and girls may be a serious bunch but they sure know how to party I can tell you. There were some other things I noticed during the 3 day (and night) event.

First: Minmatar scientists are HOT, and I don’t mean with the plague, though there was a bit of the plague going around by the third day of the inquest. Why has no one ever told me how attractive Minmatar scientists are, is it some sort of state secret or, I don’t know, have there been genetic modifications done in secret? Regardless it was a pleasure to see these beautiful and talented ladies at work to save the mortals of New Eden, which they successfully did by the third day, recovering their research and even curing a handful of mortals in the process as demonstrations of their science.

Second: Amarrian priests can be real downers on occasion, the delegation from Amar was full of priests and only one yummy nun and they kept going on and on about how the cluster was going to spiral into disease and disaster, a real buzz kill if you ask me. Their regalia was of course impeccable and the pomp and circumstance more than made up for the occasional outburst. Someone shamefully defaced their beautiful statue while we were out partying one night which was sad though they didn’t seem too upset all in all, perhaps it was only a third rate statue?.

Although not officially recognized by the Amarrians due to some significant prejudice on their part, Max Singularity of the Sixth Empire was in attendance and his Holiness the Space Pope was eloquent as always in giving comfort to the mortals from the Imortal Sixth Empire, quite gracious of him really.

Third: The Caldari delegation was of course full of jackbooted thugs, intent on taking care of their corporate interests and everything was to benefit their State. I get that they are dedicated to their cause and I can respect their passion (I live with a corporation that is heavily populated by overly mercantile Caldari in null sec) but they really can take things too far sometimes. Their area in the station was full of weapons, armour, uniforms and a rigid unwavering adherence to the edicts of the State. As always they were too busy patting themselves on their backs to pay any attention to curing the Kyonoke plague.

Fourth: Once we had dealt with the plague, at least for now, we had a wonderful concert by PermaBand, which rocked the citadel to it’s foundations, though that could have been dissidents in the basements or something else happening, it was a pretty big party. All the alliances, coalitions and even individual capsuleers came together to enjoy the festivities and I think even some of the Caldari unbent their spines a little after the 6th drink or so.

Overall it was a grand time to be had by all and the mortals got some hope in the form of a cure for that 100% fatal plague that looked like it was going to escape and infect the entire cluster. We saw some lovely implants, tattoos and body modifications being sported along with a good deal of empire fashion from the 6 empires and us capsuleers got to talk a great deal about spaceships and how much we love them. I call this a Win – Win.

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